Shopping for Buddhas Read online




  PRAISE FOR JEFF GREENWALD’S WORK

  Shopping for Buddhas

  “Reading Shopping for Buddhas was a huge relief! Someone who loves the joyful Dharma still seeing the earthy humor in the behavior of Buddhists, who also just happen to be human!”

  —Robert Thurman, president and co-founder of Tibet House

  “Kathmandu forged an unbreakable link to my innermost travel instincts on my first visit, over 40 years ago—and every time I open a copy of Jeff’s magical book, I’m reminded exactly why.”

  —Tony Wheeler, founder of Lonely Planet Publications

  “Waist-high snow, a flying lama and the first escalator in Kathmandu are among the many attractions Greenwald experienced during his stays in Nepal. His often flip tone belies a serious purpose, and his account of shopping for just the right statue of Buddha illuminates various aspects of Nepalese culture. He discusses some of the gods and beliefs of Hinduism and proposes his own list of possible bodhisattvas, whom he describes as people who ‘recognize . . . their peculiar function’ in life (including Mother Teresa and John Lennon). He learns of the Nepalese concept of perfect art, seeks the advice of a guru who wears RayBans and faces the maneuverings of shopkeepers who cater to foreign buyers. Nor does Greenwald overlook the darker side of this country, now undergoing political upheavals. Nepal has been the site of documented human rights abuses, its royal family exploits the country’s resources and may be central to promoting drug trafficking there, foreign aid to this impoverished country is distributed among a small number of people, and valuable works of art from temples are being smuggled out of the country.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “While sounding like a shopping guide for Nepal at the beginning, this book leads readers into some strange, appalling, and extremely uplifting experiences. This true account of Greenwald’s various Nepal trips shows an outstanding way with words, as the author keeps readers entertained and aghast at a Tibetan flying through the air, Nepalese having a first escalator ascent, the back alleys of Kathmandu, an electrified crow, and the looting of Nepalese treasures. For those wanting a good adventure and a little religion and philosophy, it is an enlightening account. For those needing more multicultural materials, it’s a godsend.”

  —Library Journal

  “Although [Greenwald] is infatuated and fascinated by the Eastern forms of enlightenment, he discusses the contradictory impulses of spirituality and materialisms. His adventures are interesting and well-told, his points sometimes profound.”

  —Small Press Review

  The Size of the World

  “Greenwald has produced a travel book like no other. . . . His tale of the journey is an armchair delight for its originality, humor, and striking prose. . . . Funny and engaging, this is one-of-a-kind travel literature.”

  —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

  “Smart, swift, funny, and always stylish. Greenwald offers hope and fair warning that there’s still plenty of ‘out there’ out there and follows his instincts to a fabulously rich vein.”

  —Joe Kane, author of Savages and Running the Amazon

  “A writer of great range, Greenwald is equally adept at describing the trials and thrills of travel as well as the tangles of human emotions. . . . He comes across as an intrepid adventurer, an honest and hilarious writer, a compassionate human being.”

  —Brad Newsham, author of Take Me With You

  “Greenwald makes me laugh, charms me, amazes me with resourceful audacity, teaches me to respect what is worthy of respect, and has the good sense not to take himself too seriously.”

  —Tim Cahill, author of Pass the Butterworms

  “Fabulous and fascinating. . . . Deserves to be compared to the classics of travel literature.”

  —Los Angeles Times

  “I read (The Size of the World) in a gulp then passed it on to my two teen-age sons, who also loved it—and believe me, these guys are hanging judges where books are concerned.”

  —Tobias Wolff, author of In Pharaoh’s Army

  Scratching the Surface

  “Jeff Greenwald is a true original.”

  —Dave Eggers, author of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

  “As it’s my job to look for authors to interview on our show I end up reading a lot of travel books; however, I only read the first few chapters. Right now I’m in the middle of Jeff Greenwald’s new book, Scratching the Surface. Jeff’s humorous and poignant “best of” compilation has officially kicked off my summer reading. Needless to say, I’m well past the first few chapters.”

  —NPR’s Savvy Traveler staff recommendations

  “Greenwald’s career, its long arc captured here in rainbow brilliance, is pretty much the gold standard when it comes to travel writing.”

  —Brad Newsham, San Francisco Chronicle

  “The psychological narrative here is every bit as compelling as the exotic geographical and cultural settings described. There is refreshing frankness as well as wit in these accounts, and a remarkable depth of a certain type of courage which seeks, in Greenwald’s own words, ‘that elusive grail that travel still offers: transformation.’ ”

  —Fearless Reviews

  “In this new volume, Greenwald reminds us of the ‘alchemical gift of travel’ and the transformative potential of exploring ‘off the beaten path.’ Whether we are laughing at Greenwald’s attempt to order from a Farsi menu in a small Iranian restaurant or sharing his fascination with the way aborigines make their bedding ‘in the bush,’ Greenwald offers a detailed picture of the surroundings and an informed understanding of the culture. Recommended for all travel collections.”

  —Library Journal

  “Most travel writing . . . manages to leech all the exhilaration, misery and weirdness out of the vagabond life while replacing it with tips on where to find the best crumpet in York. Jeff Greenwald, however, has an eye for the odd, a soul that likes surprises, and he can tell a story. Greenwald captures the sometimes disturbing thrill of moving through places that are foreign with a capital F, and the qualities that separate travel from tourism and make it cathartic.”

  —Douglas Cruickshank, Salon

  Strange Travel Suggestions

  “The tales here are prime takes from his continuing semireligious quest for the odd and the entertaining—intriguing, beguiling and often laugh-out-loud funny stories of consulting oracles in Senegal, how complaints are handled in India, a Nepali holy man who does amazing things with his penis, and past lives, told with the delivery of a Buddhist Mort Sahl and a sly mix of hyperbole and observation.”

  —Robert Hurwitt, San Francisco Chronicle

  “The last time Jeff Greenwald’s roulette wheel of a one-man show had a run at The Marsh, I went and laughed my head off. The Marsh is a small place, so Greenwald obligingly handed my head back to me.”

  —Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle

  “A sublime 90-minute night of improvised storytelling”

  —Nathaniel Eaton, SF Weekly

  “Funny, keen-eyed, utterly engaging. . . . Wherever it leads, it adds up to quite a trip.”

  —San Francisco Bay Guardian

  “Looking for global intrigue, great laughs, and high drama? Go traveling with Jeff Greenwald and you’ll find it all—on one stage.”

  —Wes “Scoop” Nisker

  TRAVELERS’ TALES BOOKS

  Country and Regional Guides

  30 Days in Italy, 30 Days in the South Pacific, America, Antarctica, Australia, Brazil, Central America, China, Cuba, France, Greece, India, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Nepal, Spain, Thailand, Tibet, Turkey; Alaska, American Southwest, Grand Canyon, Hawai’i, Hong Kong, Middle East, Paris, Prague, Provence, San Francisco, South Pacific
, Tuscany

  Women’s Travel

  100 Places Every Woman Should Go, 100 Places in Italy Every Woman Should Go, 100 Places in France Every Woman Should Go, 100 Places in the USA Every Woman Should Go, 50 Places in Rome, Florence, & Venice Every Woman Should Go, Best Women’s Travel Writing, Family Travel, Gutsy Mamas, Gutsy Women, Mother’s World, Safety and Security for Women Who Travel, Wild with Child, Woman’s Asia, Woman’s Europe, Woman’s Passion for Travel, Woman’s Path, Woman’s World, Woman’s World Again, Women in the Wild

  Body & Soul

  Adventure of Food, Food, How to Eat Around the World, Love & Romance, Mile in Her Boots, Pilgrimage, Road Within, Spiritual Gifts of Travel, Stories to Live By, Ultimate Journey

  Special Interest

  365 Travel, Adventures in Wine, Danger!, Fearless Shopper, Gift of Birds, Gift of Rivers, Gift of Travel, How to Shit Around the World, Hyenas Laughed at Me, It’s a Dog’s World, Leave the Lipstick, Take the Iguana, Make Your Travel Dollars Worth a Fortune, More Sand in My Bra, Mousejunkies!, Not So Funny When It Happened, Penny Pincher’s Passport to Luxury Travel, Sand in My Bra, Testosterone Planet, There’s No Toilet Paper on the Road Less Traveled, Thong Also Rises, What Color is your Jockstrap?, Whose Panties Are These?, World is a Kitchen, Writing Away

  Travel Literature

  The Best Travel Writing, Deer Hunting in Paris, Ghost Dance in Berlin, Shopping for Buddhas, Kin to the Wind, Coast to Coast, Fire Never Dies, Kin to the Wind, Kite Strings of the Southern Cross, Last Trout in Venice, One Year Off, Rivers Ran East, Royal Road to Romance, A Sense of Place, Storm, Sword of Heaven, Take Me With You, Trader Horn, Way of the Wanderer, Unbeaten Tracks in Japan

  Fiction

  Akhmed and the Atomic Matzo Balls

  SHOPPING FOR BUDDHAS

  An Adventure in Nepal

  SHOPPING FOR BUDDHAS

  An Adventure in Nepal

  JEFF GREENWALD

  Travelers’ Tales

  An Imprint of Solas House, Inc.

  Palo Alto

  Copyright © 2014, 1996, 1990 by Jeff Greenwald. All rights reserved.

  Travelers’ Tales and Solas House are trademarks of Solas House, Inc.

  2320 Bowdoin Street, Palo Alto, California 94306. www.travelerstales.com

  Cover design: Kimberly Coombs

  Cover photograph: Boudhanath stupa in Kathmandu, © Jeff Greenwald

  Author photographs: Dwayne Newton

  Distributed by Publishers Group West, 1700 Fourth Street, Berkeley, CA 94710

  Library of Congress Cataloguing-in-Publication Data Available Upon Request

  ISBN 10: 1–609520–94–7

  ISBN 13: 978–160952094–6

  E-ISBN: 978–160952095–3

  25th Anniversary Edition

  To my mother

  I was one of them, shopping, at last.

  —DON DELILLO, White Noise

  Preface to the 25th Anniversary Edition

  In 1990—the year Shopping for Buddhas was first released by Harper & Row—Tim Berners-Lee created the foundation for the World Wide Web. The Hubble Space Telescope was launched. Namibia gained its independence, and Nelson Mandela was released from a South African prison after 27 years.

  That very same year, Nepal itself changed profoundly. The upheavals in Eastern Europe and the USSR spurred a Jana Andolan, or “Peoples’ Movement,” the beginning of the end for Nepal’s absolute monarchy. (See my “Brief Political Postscript” for more details).

  Well, here we are, a quarter of a century later. We now have two robots scrambling around on Mars, and Nepalis connect on Twitter and Facebook. The late Nelson Mandela graces South Africa’s currency.

  Still, the mindset of a Hindu Kingdom is slow to change. The Republic of Nepal still does not have a working, ratified constitution, and the Kathmandu Valley itself has not quite blossomed (to say the least) in the manner of Bangalore or Taipei.

  This will take some time.

  On the other hand, it may be just as well that some things change slowly. Much of what drew me to Nepal in 1979, and keeps me coming back, is its atmosphere of divine chaos—the sense that anything can, and does, happen. The interwoven cultures that thrive beneath the Himalaya are like a mysterious vine—ripening with metaphors and life lessons.

  One autumn afternoon, during a recent visit to the Kathmandu Valley, I rode my rented motorcycle across the Bagmati Bridge, and up the long hill to Kathmandu’s sister city, Patan. As usual, I was shopping for buddhas; and as usual, it didn’t take much to distract me.

  A short walk through Patan’s narrow roads led me to a low entrance, and into the courtyard of Mahabauddha: The Temple of a Thousand Buddhas. The temple’s architecture is fascinating—an odd blend of Nepali and South Indian—but what caught my eye was a sign, nailed on a brick wall across the chowk:

  YOU MAY TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS FROM THIS BUILDING GET THE BEST VIEW OF MAHABAUDDHA, HIMALAYAS & OTHER TEMPLES WE ARE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU THERE IS NO CHARGE

  I ducked inside. One pitch-dark flight of steps led to another. Finally I reached the small roof, overlooking the closely-packed neighboring buildings. Almost all the rooftops were blazing with well-groomed flower gardens, oases of color amid the cement patios and electrical wires. A steady breeze blew in from the south.

  On the rooftop beside mine, just a few yards away, three generations of Nepalis stood together. They acknowledged me with a brief namasté, then went back to their business. There was a smiling white-haired patriarch wearing a smart topi cap; a young man, probably in his late 20s, in a blue blazer; and a seven-year-old girl. The elderly man held a red and yellow paper kite in one hand, and a wooden spool of string in the other.

  With the gleeful expression of a kid one-tenth his age, the man tossed the kite into the air. But the wind was sketchy, and—despite a few close calls—the kite couldn’t find an updraft.

  After several failed attempts, he handed the younger man (his son, I guessed) the spool. Now the wind picked up. With a few deft motions, he coaxed the kite into the breeze. It spun, but began gaining altitude. The girl watched, awestruck. The spool spun with a low whirr, paying out string at a dizzying speed. Before it seemed possible, the kite was a speck in the sky—swooping and gyring far above the ravens and raptors.

  At that point, the daughter was handed the spool. With wide eyes she stepped bravely forward and, imitating her father’s gestures, took control of their emissary to the clouds. Though the girl now held the string, all three people were fully engaged in the flight—mentally, physically, and spiritually. Their zeal was so contagious that I could almost feel the kite tugging my own arms.

  Something was happening here, something beneath the visible tableau. Watching the family directing their kite, I realized with a flash that I was witnessing an entire culture in microcosm. This was what the Himalayan cultures have excelled in cultivating: the power of magic. This is their gift. With their incense and prayer flags, their sacred architecture and tantric rituals, their ability to breathe life into wood, metal and stone, the people of Nepal and Tibet have spent centuries forging two-way bonds between the material and ethereal realms. It may have seemed like paper, sticks and string—but the tiny kite was a conduit for direct communication between heaven and earth.

  I am not sure, looking forward, where things are heading. The world will spin on, and our technology—as my late friend Arthur C. Clarke famously said—will become ever more “indistinguishable from magic.”

  That distinction will be blurred, but it will not disappear. Not all technologies are assembled in factories. A remarkably clear blueprint for cultivating awareness, and for perfecting wisdom and compassion, was developed in South Asia more than 25 centuries ago—and it still finds beautiful expression in Nepal.

  So we will build colonies on Mars, our eye movements will direct cloudbursts of information, and revolutions will continue to empty one pedestal after another. But none of these advances will overtake the deep, quiet awakening of the Prince formerly known as Siddh
artha.

  Shopping is fun, and maybe you and I are not among those people who can resist ducking into an art gallery or curio shop. But for a spiritual recharge, our wallets will be of dubious use. Our ultimate quest, I suspect, will never be fulfilled with a receipt from the Department of Archeology. What we’re really after, of course, is to be the Buddha of our dreams.

  —Jeff Greenwald

  Oakland, California

  Summer 2014

  “Hello. You’ve reached the mass of cells, nerves, hormones and protoplasm that compose the human being known as Jeff Greenwald. This entity is currently at large on Earth, struggling against the demons of greed, envy and desire. If you wish to leave a message . . . here is the beep.”

  “Hi, honey, it’s me, Mom. Hope your work is going well. I just wanted to tell you that I ran into Moira Edelstein at Walbaum’s the other day, and she told me that her son Jeremy just got an incredible job, photographing locations in Nepal and India for a new movie. They’re paying him something like $5,000 a week. Ach! I only wish it could have been you!

  “Anyway, everything’s the same here. Nothing new. Status quo. Love you. . . .”

  Contents

  Preface to the 25th Anniversary Edition

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  A Brief Political Postscript

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author